Wednesday, April 27, 2005

It's like an itch...

that I can't scratch. This thing that happens to me occasionally ~ I couldn't explain it properly if I used every cliche out there. But it's like I'm being suffocated by my own skin. I've had it twice before as bad as I have it right now.

The first time I solved it by bungee jumping and the second time by skydiving. It is the need to push myself to the very extreme edge. To feel truly that I am not just walking the well beaten path but truly carving my own way through this adventure that has been laid before me. I have felt in a sort of pause mode lately well that is just unacceptable. So I need to figure this out and find something. Skydiving is going to be hard to top ~ although I think if I did it again with new scenery that I would be just as thrilled as the first time.

Or maybe it's more of a leap of faith that I need to take this time. That's what is so bothersome this time around. The first two times the answer was as clear as the feeling. This time around I'm not exactly sure what I need to fill this desire for more that I have. I'm sure it will come to me, and like always at just the strangest time.

On a sidenote, making people laugh or smile. It's the best thing for all involved. I think somewhere on our path to responsibility ~ cynicsm sneaks in to everyones world and just replaces that jubiliance that as children we exude carelessly. So my thought is just smile ~ it's free and feels really good!

My song today... Given to Fly ~ Pearl Jam

And he still gives his love, he just gives it away...
The love he recieves is the love that is saved
And sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky
A human being that was given to fly
He's flying....oh high...wide
He's flying

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