Gary Allan ~ Living Hard

EVERYONE should get this cd… now… seriously it’s incredible!!

This one is singin’ a lot of what I’ve been feelin’ lately…

As Long As Your Looking Back


Got your feet wet
Got your heart broke
Didn’t pan out
Like you’d hope’d

But you play’d fair
And you swear that love has…
the damn deck stacked

And you just won’t put it behind you
But you sit and you dwell on the past
Well can’t you see
You can’t see tomorrow
As long as your lookin’ back

You had someone
You could count on
You believed in
Bet your life on

But your back turned
And the knife fell
You swear that
Pay back… is gonna be hell

Now you just can’t trust anybody
‘cause a friend was just a snake in the grass
Boy can’t you see
You can’t see tomorrow
As long as your lookin’ back

You can’t move on
‘til you let go of what’s gone
no your never gonna trust anybody
if you sit here and dwell on the past
fool can’t you see
you can’t see tomorrow
as long as your lookin’ back

got your feet wet
got your heart broke
didn’t pan out like you’d hoped…

do i or don't i...

because i found out last night that i absolutely CAN... and all on my own... which makes me feel pretty great i must say....

so do i make an offer on what is seemingly the PERFECT house... or do i just sit tight for one more year just to feel well that much more secure with my life....

hmmm

oh so you want to see this house.....

http://www.centralimagehost.com/cihost/US/TX/75013/P/660/mls.htm

its really perfect for the five us....

ever been really REALLY ANGRY

and just not want to share that with anyone ~ k... that's where i am right now... i'm tired of the lies... NEWSFLASH:

i am a grown up ~ i DO NOT need to be protected ~ trust me i've come far and from where i was i will not be broken again... i just won't allow it so don't think that i've given that power to anyone nor will i ever again... and i think that protection may translate to cowardice anyway or worse...

here's what i'm teaching my kids... don't lie to me ~ no matter how hard it may be... nothing is worse than a lie... we can always work with the truth and move forward to a positive place ~ but if you start with a lie... you build a castle of cards that is unstable and will eventually come crashing down around you

i have no patience or tolerance for lies... and someone asked me once what the biggest lie i've ever been told was....

'i love you'

k ~ walkin' away from this now... and leaving on a positive note

Bleu Edmondson ~ Lost Boy... buy it... HEAR IT... it's worth it!!! and it will make my heart happy when you share that you get it...

'we hoped against hope to find one voice
to sing what we were desperate to say...' ~ The Echo (Maybe Tonight)

it like free money...

sort of... my girl had an evaluation today ~ it was determined that there is enough room for all of her teeth... they are coming in beautifully... braces will not be necessary

i'm thinkin' i might be catchin' that break i've been lookin' for

so i'm being a grown up...

and i don't much like it ~ but it was the right thing to do...

i keep tellin' myself that this years magic wasn't for me... and tryin' to be ok with that... for the record it's not workin'

so a few things that are on my mind...

Friday Night Lights... well now it's my FAVORITE SHOW... so it'll be replaced halfway through this season 'cause i'm a jinx for tv shows i'm sure of it

apparently i can pick College Football winners... who knew... lol

Gary Allan's Watchin' Airplanes is my latest obsession... NOT EVEN A CLUE why

i will be at Bleu Edmondson on thursday night... PERIOD ~ it's necessary

i love my life ~ truly and i'm tired of feelin' like i'm supposed to apologize for that

November to April is just going to suk... i keep sayin' i made it from October to January without even feelin' too much pain... so i'm hopin' that works again this time... however right now it seems impossible

'When you grow up your heart dies...' ~ i come from The Breakfast Club generation... i remember the first time i saw that movie and hearing that line... i remember thinkin' THAT will NOT happen to me... well it hasn't ~ but i worry that many of my kind took it seriously and have let it...

mostly i'm REALLY grateful for my friends ~ everyone thinks they have THE BEST friends... i know without question that i in fact do... from the ones that check in everyday... to the ones that i can not talk to for a few months at a time and yet... time has about stood still and all that matters is that we care and love each other A LOT!!!