a good tired...

that's how i feel today... when i quit my job last October i was a bad tired ~ so spent that i couldn't put two thoughts together that i trusted... i doubted every thing i was doing... every decision got overthought, i found myself tripping over the air in the room more often than not

but today i feel clear headed... i worked hard the last four days but at the end of it last night the owner said 'Ok... i'm leaving Saturday for the week and you are in charge.' She was kidding but i understood and appreciated the sentiment behind it... i had worked very hard for her, in a position that i had only been trained for three days in before being 'thrown to the wolves' and i came out ahead and still smiling

for many years i had worked like that and then somehow a sort of cancer invaded my work ethic and i began to doubt that i knew how to do anything at all... so while i will never go back to my job defining who i am ~ the good thing to come out of all of this is that i have spent a great amount of time on myself and finding out that i can dream for myself and set goals for myself and that it is important to not give all of 'me' away to everyone else ~ it does feel good to really work again and feel like i've accomplished something that is appreciated...

and i'm gonna leave it there ~ 'cause for once i think that is a better thought than a lyric for those that may stumble here and read my ramblings...