i know i have said that a lot in the last couple of days... but a lot is going on... and i'm not good at putting my stuff on others... so here is where it goes...
'i know this is going to be hard to hear but i wouldn't be a friend if i didn't say it ~ you really need to stop thinking about yourself so much'
OK... i've had that running around in my head for oh almost 48 hours now... first of all... in the list of who i think about and do all i can to make sure they are good... i'm almost last on that list... second of all... if i don't think about me ~ who is going to ~ no offense to anyone that truly loves me and reads this but i know even you know what i mean... finally if you know that what you are about to say is the worst thing you could say to someone ~ what kind of a person does it make you if you choose to say it
everytime i think i've built up the confidence that was tore down for so long... every time i feel safe... every time i feel strong... secure... everytime i think that i am making good choices... that i am going down the path that is best for me... everytime i start to trust and believe... well it's like the freakin' rug is pulled right out from underneath me... i'm getting better at the landing these days... and more sure footed so that i mostly tumble off and not a full flat on my ass knock the wind out of me kind of thing ~ but i guess my frustration lies in the why of it all... i'm not looking for anything that is all that selfish really... just a life that i can call my own
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"finally if you know that what you are about to say is the worst thing you could say to someone ~ what kind of a person does it make you if you choose to say it"
ReplyDeleteI TOTALLY relate to that statement, as I had someone say something to me last week during a pretty difficult time for me that was pretty much just to throw something painful for me in my face. And I'm not sure she even realizes that she did it.
There will *always* be those that try to tear you down, whether disguised as friend or foe. I agree, you cannot rely on anyone to look out for you except for YOURSELF... even though you DO have friends you could rely on if you needed them. Do what makes YOU happy, Lori... and what is good for your kids. And you being happy IS good for your kids and their happiness. It is your path to chose and take, not anyone else's.
And in case I haven't told you lately, I love you. :)