dear diary...

'cause that is what this is really...

so i realized something today ~ that funny thing i've been feeling for the last year and a half or so... my heart ~ the shock is a bit overwhelming... i thought for sure he descrated it and that i would never feel it again ~ nope it's there for sure

am i scared ~ umm yeah... no wait ~~~~ YES ~~~~

but that is what i believe God for today... the strength to feel my heart again

and a few other random realizations

there is a smile that makes my world alright ~ i do pray for someone more than i pray for myself ~ and my spirit is completely filled again

uh-oh ~ this could be terrible i realize but for this moment right now... i'm ok... i sort of said all of that outloud and did not in fact spontaneously combust ~ my meg you must be proud! calling on you and joc to be there to pick up the pieces of me when i fall apart from all of this ;)

ok ~ that's enough ~ and in case you missed any of what i'm talking about here...

Diary of a Mad Black Woman ~ FABULOUS movie

and in the words of Jason Boland when introducing this song... 'one of the finest songs i've heard...'

Finelines ~ Stoney Larue

'waking up means feeling good
and i thank you...'