Saturday, February 11, 2006

tired...

my body... my heart... my soul... my cheeks... so i stayed in bed... all day... feeling on the verge of being sick... feeling extremely exhausted from all that life has brought to me the last few weeks... so i gave myself permission and i stayed in bed... with momentary breaks to make sure that my babies were being well behaved, fed, bathed, etc... the necessary mom duties... at the end of it all i slept still and sound...

i feel better today... not 100% ~ but rested and ready to take on all this life deals out daily... our FATHER has high expectations... it is my aspiration to not disappoint him

so the father of the ones that i love most will be off his boat again tomorrow... and i know the anticipation of that has brought me to this place where i need to be poised for battle once again... the changes in my life do not sit well with him and while our last conversation went in the direction of being extremely adult... the tone of recent emails has me terrified that once again there will be a fight... i am ready and he will not face the same foe that he has in the past... i'm stronger... i have more to fight for... and i don't stand alone anymore

'...and he still gets his love he just gives it away
the love he receives is the love that is saved
and sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky
a human being that was given to fly...' ~ Given to Fly ~ Pearl Jam

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous6:31 AM

    Possibly TWO fights coming your way if you don't get on the phone with me like you used to. It's incredible and ridiculous all at the same time how much I miss you.

    I'm Gage. Remember me??

    ReplyDelete
  2. i call your voicemail picks up... and remember you... silly i'm the one that loves you when you forgot who you are even...

    ReplyDelete