Random Shiny Things...

Hoodies... RENT... Unexpected Phone Calls... Checking in with old friends... Reconnecting with a new one... #17 crossing the line first... closely followed by #48... Happy... Imperfections that make it Perfect... Couch Pig Piles... Corn Chowder

it was a good weekend...

i can't fix it..

if i don't know what's wrong... that's what i tell my kids when they come to me upset either angry... crying whatever... no need for all that ~ if you communicate to me the problem... i'll help you work it out ~ that makes sense to me... it may not always turn out they way they want it too but there is usually a resolution that makes them feel more comfortable than when we started... it's a good way to live i've found ~ i think it'll help them in life ~ we aren't mind readers and some of us just are exactly that naive maybe is the word... ok i feel a little better now


'Mark ~ The opposite of war isn't peace...
Joanne ~ What is?
Mark ~ It's creation!' ~ my favorite exchange from RENT... which i recommend if you haven't seen it and enjoy musicals... it's ROX

8

I have issues.

insert HUGE CHEEK BUSTING GRIN

firefly...

oh my heck... LOVE this show... just finished watching the first five episodes... if you like Sci-Fi at all... check it out the movie Serenity was based on it... it's amazingly brilliant

'We've done the impossible, and that makes us mighty.' ~ Captain Malcomlm 'Mal' Reynolds

Perspective...

it's a really odd thing isn't it ~ how we perceive things... successes and failures particularly ~ i've never been one to measure success in means of anything that is tangible... in fact i don't think that my success will be able to be determined until the end of my days ~ will my children be happy, productive, compassionate... will all that i have loved in my life know that i loved them and wanted great things always for them... if i could help those in their time of need ~ did i... if i could share in someone's time of great happiness... did i... and will i finally feel that ever elusive grace and peace ~ those are the things i look for to identify my success

and failures... well i've screwed up enough for a few lifetimes already in my terms ~ which is where this thought came from 'cause someone that knows me best said to me last night that comparitively speaking i haven't screwed up anything... well ok ~ but seriously it's all about perspective ~ isn't it...

on 12/27/05 ~ i gave myself a clean slate... and i have been really good for the last few months on making the right choice each and every time i was faced with something that was conflicting or frightening or overwhelming... i see my life going in a very positive... very realistic direction and for that i'm so extremely grateful

and my love affair with the man in the yellow hat was rekindled today... LOVED Curious George... and the soundtrack is fantastic

Supposed To Be ~ Jack Johnson

'Maybe it's up with the stars
Maybe it's under the sea
Maybe it's not very far
Maybe this is how it's supposed to be...'

"and remember the truth..."

"...that once was spoken ~ to love another person is to see the face of God..." ~ Les Miserables


*sigh*

we listened... and sang... and danced... i love that my babies love that as much as i do... and they know just about all the words to every song as well ~ we need to see it together and apparently soon as they are going away forever ~ (the touring company of Les Miserables... not my kids ~ sorry if i frightened anyone else...)

and with this weekend...

it begins... i love the sound... i love the speed... i love car #17 and i'll be watching the #12 truck pretty closely as well...

my favorite 20 seconds or so of the week comes on Sunday... 'Drivers Start Your Engines!' and with that... the house vibrates 'cause i have the surround sound up really loud and i get chill bumps and tears... Happy Tears but still... so here is the running order for the 48th Daytona 500... i've highlighted the ones i just LOVE...

1 31 Jeff Burton Chevrolet Cingular Wireless
2 24 Jeff Gordon Chevrolet DuPont
3 38 Elliott Sadler Ford M&M's
4 5 Kyle Busch Chevrolet Kellogg's
5 99 Carl Edwards Ford Office Depot
6 26 Jamie McMurray Ford Crown Royal
7 8 Dale Earnhardt Jr. Chevrolet Budweiser
8 43 Bobby Labonte Dodge Cheerios/Betty Crocker
9 48 Jimmie Johnson Chevrolet Lowe's
10 6 Mark Martin Ford AAA

11 17 Matt Kenseth Ford DeWalt Power Tools

12 45 Kyle Petty Dodge Wells Fargo Financial
13 2 Kurt Busch Dodge Miller Lite
14 42 Casey Mears Dodge Texaco/Havoline
15 20 Tony Stewart Chevrolet The Home Depot
16 16 Greg Biffle Ford National Guard
17 11 Denny Hamlin Chevrolet FedEx Express
18 12 Ryan Newman Dodge ALLTEL
19 1 Martin Truex Jr. Chevrolet Bass Pro Shops/Tracker
20 7 Robby Gordon Chevrolet Jim Beam
21 66 Jeff Green Chevrolet Best Buy
22 41 Reed Sorenson Dodge Target
23 21 Ken Schrader Ford Little Debbie
24 109 Mike Wallace Dodge Miccosukee Gaming & Resorts
25 88 Dale Jarrett Ford UPS
26 19 Jeremy Mayfield Dodge Dodge Dealers/UAW
27 9 Kasey Kahne Dodge Dodge Dealers/UAW
28 29 Kevin Harvick Chevrolet GM Goodwrench
29 49 Brent Sherman Dodge Serta
30 55 Michael Waltrip Dodge NAPA Auto Parts
31 61 Kevin Lepage Ford Amp Energy Drink
32 40 David Stremme Dodge Lone Star Steakhouse/Saloon
33 136 Bill Elliott Chevrolet Ginn Clubs & Resorts
34 22 Dave Blaney Dodge Caterpillar
35 25 Brian Vickers Chevrolet GMAC
36 18 J.J. Yeley Chevrolet Interstate Batteries
37 07 Clint Bowyer Chevrolet Jack Daniel's
38 01 Joe Nemechek Chevrolet U.S. Army
39 14 Sterling Marlin Chevrolet Waste Management
40 32 Travis Kvapil Chevrolet Tide
41 00 Hermie Sadler Ford Aaron's
42 27 Kirk Shelmerdine Chevrolet Apex Electric
43 96 Terry Labonte Chevrolet DLP HDTV/Tweeter Champion's Provisional

and starting in the 9th position tonight during the Craftsman Truck GM Flex Fuel 250... #12 Curb Records Toyota ~ Joey Miller... very good track position

i just LOVE racing!!!

Happy Keep My Feet Warm Day...

that's today... and it's quite possibly the most brilliant holiday ever and i got THE best pajammies ever in celebration... i hope all those that i love most have a fantabulous day today and that their hearts are full with the love that i feel for them and that their feet are warm and pampered... if they aren't ask me about the sox 'cause everyone should have at least one pair

the moral of this crazy little riddle is this ~ if you care about someone... just listen to them... always... it will show on days like this ~ perfectly

'Do you need your magic to go container?'

and with that question... i was taken out of the confuddled, confines of my mind and brought back to smiling and having fun... i felt bad 'cause i was bouncing off the walls busy and not feeling like i was doing anything well... which wasn't reality just not working at my comfort level pace ~ however when you work with people that have the same ethic about it that you do... they can do or say something just like that and turn it all around

i love Tuesday nights... i don't normally make any money to really speak of... but we laugh and sing and have too much fun for 'working' and that makes it all worth it in the end

to the grumpy guy that walked out ~ next time try McDonald's they are actually known for fast food ~ we however prefer our patrons enjoy their dining experience and strive very hard to make that happen

my favorite part...

'The parties both agree to lead separate lives, and , except for the duties and obligations imposed and assumed under this agreement, each shall be free from interference and control of the other asfully as if he or she were single. The parties each agree not to molest, interfere with, or harass the other.'

that's really all i need... apparently the great state of Vermont needs about 150 other documents loaded with offical sounding legal stuff that all boils down to that right there...

it's been and MB20 and Rob Thomas week/weekend... and so this seems appropriate though not exactly in context...

"...i don't wanna be angry no more
you know i could never stand for this..."

tired...

my body... my heart... my soul... my cheeks... so i stayed in bed... all day... feeling on the verge of being sick... feeling extremely exhausted from all that life has brought to me the last few weeks... so i gave myself permission and i stayed in bed... with momentary breaks to make sure that my babies were being well behaved, fed, bathed, etc... the necessary mom duties... at the end of it all i slept still and sound...

i feel better today... not 100% ~ but rested and ready to take on all this life deals out daily... our FATHER has high expectations... it is my aspiration to not disappoint him

so the father of the ones that i love most will be off his boat again tomorrow... and i know the anticipation of that has brought me to this place where i need to be poised for battle once again... the changes in my life do not sit well with him and while our last conversation went in the direction of being extremely adult... the tone of recent emails has me terrified that once again there will be a fight... i am ready and he will not face the same foe that he has in the past... i'm stronger... i have more to fight for... and i don't stand alone anymore

'...and he still gets his love he just gives it away
the love he receives is the love that is saved
and sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky
a human being that was given to fly...' ~ Given to Fly ~ Pearl Jam

U2 and Mary J...

blew me AWAY... and i believed Kelly's sincere awe when she won and her performance took my breath away

i'm an award show J.U.N.K.I.E and they have been sub-par of late... i enjoyed that one last evening quite a lot

and i also enjoy 5.5 hour conversations that just don't feel like they are 20 minutes and i am sleeping ~ truly sleeping well for the first time in about oh i don't know 10 years or so... i believe i might just have found that ever elusive PEACE that i have been missing for oh so very long

and i think i agreed to learn to ski... hmmm we'll see i may get back to that idea

Kelly's song last night was beautiful ~ Because of You... Kelly Clarkson

'because of you
i never stray too far from the sidewalk
because of you
i learned to play on the safe side
so i don't get hurt
because of you
i tried my hardest just to forget everything
because of you
i don't know how to let anyone else in
because of you
i'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
because of you
i am afraid...'

not that long ago... i would have said that was a pretty accurate picture of me... however i'm learning all those things all over again and that my friends DOES NOT suk at all

if you find the one...

who falls for you when you are at your happiest... catches you when you fall to your lowest... wants to hold your hand and the hands of the ones next to you... knows where you came from... where you are... likes the ideas you have about where you are going... is strong in the ways you are weak... is weak in the ways you are strong... listens like you need to be listened to... talks almost as much as you do, without it being a competition... and just gets it ~ TRULY

well my friends i'd say it's a no brainer and i wish all that for all of those that i adore the most

i forgot about this one...

and how it was once... and still very much is me

Drops of Jupiter ~ Train

Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
With drops of jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there’s time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like june, hey, hey

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there

Now that she’s back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there’s time to grow, hey, hey

Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
I’m afraid that she might think of me as plain ol’ jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you’re wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone
Conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the milky way...

'What is happiness to you?'

Vanilla Sky is one of my favorite movies... and that line as simple as it is always get me thinking... and the answer is another line in the movie ~ 'The little things... there's nothing bigger, is there?'

we go through life essentially alone... no matter how many people we meet and how many friends we have or how close to our family we are... at the end of the day in the quiet just before sleep... in that moment when i take inventory it's all on me ~ to look at everything honestly and evaluate the direction ~ am i moving toward happiness... am i moving toward anything at all even or just kind of stalled...

well my inventory right now definetly includes happiness... happiness like i've never imagined possible and i've had moments of great happiness in the last two years ~ the difference this time is that the level of happiness is more well rounded ~ if that makes sense... its not just one of the aspects that makes me well... me that is being celebrated... it's all of them... the mother... the friend... the music lover... the adventurer... the thinker... the terrified little girl... the traveller... the dreamer...

i'm completely overwhelmed by it all right now so i'm focusing on putting one foot in front of the other... on solid ground

'i've got three days...'

here in North Carolina and it's beautiful and the time i'm spending is time that is needed ~ my cheek busting smile is back and i had thought i had lost it back in August when my hurricane hit

a perk i hadn't originally thought of when i decided to make this trip ~ no snow... it's going to be just what i need to get through the remainder of this winter and i'm looking forward to dafodils and lilacs in April


'three days and nights to put some life back in this man
i ain't holding nothing back
you got all i am
hearts and souls and dreams in the palm of your hand...' Three Days by Pat Green

i just adore that man and that song