so i heard this song for the gazillionth time today...

'...and the less I seek my source for some definitive
the less I seek my source ~ the closer I am to fine' ~ Indigo Girls

whoa... k... like i said listened to this song A LOT... i just LOVE it... have for awhile now... really just 'GOT' it today...

this will be mine...

in five to ten business days...

i am SOO excited ~ i don't think i've ever invested in 'me' quite like this before

'Your life is an occasion... rise to it.' ~ Mr. Magorium

alright... i loved this movie... Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium ~ for about a million reasons ~ and yes... its basic maybe... cheesy i'm sure... but you know a little reminder each year of the most important gift you can receive during the upcoming Christmas season ~ the gift of belief... whether this joyous time of year renews your religious beliefs and reminds you of how amazing the love of our FATHER truly is... or if it's the belief in magic ~ you know the magic that you'll wake up one day and even though it seems impossible that ONE special thing that you dreamed of is actually yours (i believe that any day can hold the magic of Christmas... somedays that magic is needed more than on just 12/25)

so this weekend started with just a blah conversation ~ when should we sit my daughter down and tell her the 'truth' about Santa.... umm well in my opinion never... my view ~ she will hear soon enough that some tainted soul tried to spoil the magic for someone... and what i will do at that time is to reassure her belief in the magic of Santa ~ because well surely look at all we have... and she knows how hard that it gets for us from time to time... yet we still manage to get through ~ that magic comes from somewhere.... i'll explain to her that its more about the belief than the shiny packages... but the packages help to reinforce and she'll just have to see what the day brings 'cause well you know... something always shows up that wouldn't without anything less than a Santa miracle... and the final gentle reminder will be that of course what's most important is that we are celebrating the birth of our Lord at this precious time of year...

what makes me sad is that i know the one that initiated this conversation... never had anyone reassure them of the same when they were young... i forget how the line acutally went today... something like

'why do children forget what they once knew when they are grown-ups... aren't grown ups supposed to be smarter?'

brilliant... love that!!!

***Thanksgiving Post Script... i'm most Thankful this year for an email letting me know that the one i thought about the most during the Aggie game actually got to see the game...*****

it's my favorite holiday...

here's my list...

the things I'm thankful for this year...

Jordan
Jake
Kailey
Juno
Courage
Pat Green
Sparkling Water
Jocelyn
My Snuggle chair
My ipod
Patience
Auctions
Texas
Christian
Almonds
Drew Kennedy
myspace
Roadtrips
New Babies
Possibities
my Simon the Spiderman
Reckless Kelly

and finally i'm most thankful for my family... from the ones that share my blood... to the ones that share my soul this has just been a remarkable year for me ~ quite possibly the best ever... even with all the highs and lows... they were made better or easier because of my decision to make that leap of faith and just move

much love to you all...

i don't dance...

so if i tell you this makes me want to snap my fingers... stomp my feet.... and DANCE.... i mean it... and if you don't react the same... you may need to check your pulse... no offense... but seriously

ATM

ok... i swear i can't even make this stuff up... oh and what happens on the road.... stays on the road... AND in my blog...

so apparently.... according to this very beautiful... ummm lady... lol i should be america's next top model and well now someone at the office calls me ATM for short ~ now let's get serious ~ i don't know that i'm beautiful... or 'smokin' hot' as lb said... but i'm about a foot too short... ten years too old... and well quite frankly my feet are planted way to firmly on the ground but well... you could NOT convince her that she was wasting her time tryin' to teach me the runway walk ~ lol some funny shit right there i don't care who you are

ok... the short version

while i can in fact 'hang' ~ i really need to go to be bed earlier.... 'cause 217 properties on four hours sleep will kick my ass.... brad's new job is to ensure that if he's going to bed... so is lori ~ however our track record will show we are 1 for four in travelling together so i'm thinkin' i need a back up plan

apparently even lears have issues... ours was bigger than we knew but the exec bar at Million Air is SWEET and thank you Mr. Bradshaw for letting us borrow your plane... it's very Very nice

and the previously mentioned new best pal was waiting up for me... he's my favorite!!!

i work with so many people that i love playin' with too.... that's SUCH A GREAT THING...

i don't have a sleep number and quite frankly don't want one... kind of like sleepin' on a stack of cardboard for me... even on the softest setting

i'm the MOST tired i've ever been in my life but it's a really Really good tired

i'll leave you once again with the brilliance of my new favorites....

'write what you know and it just goes to show...
you gotta write your own destiny...' ~ Reckless Kelly

insert told you sos here...

'cause my new favorite right now.... that i can't get enough of....

...my first love was an angry, painful song
wanted one so bad I went and did everything wrong
the lesson in reality would come before too long
yeah my first love was an angry, painful song...' ~ Reckless Kelly

a bunch of random stuff

NYE ~ the current plans are perfect... it includes ~ two of my favorites artists... and i MEAN that when i type that... a cabin... most likely a fire... which means i'll have the makin' for smores... there will be BEER... 'cause i enjoy it... and good friends that make me happy

i am now someone's supervisor... and along with that i got a nice raise... i definetly like it here ~ in Texas that is... i knew i would... but if it's possible it's even BETTER than i hoped it would be... so i'm stayin' ~ lol like that was ever a question... i've decided to wait on the perfect house... this year while it's been awesome has been quite the balancing act at times... now that i've got my stride and breathe easy most days i'm going to allow myself a whole year of 'status quo' before shakin' things up again... there will be another beautiful... perfect house next year ~ they are everywhere around here... lol

yellow makes me feel beautiful ~ i mean i believe it... that i'm beautiful when it comes from yellow... (this is not a ploy for a bunch of 'of course your beautiful posts' those that would do that... i know you think i'm beautiful and i absolutely adore you all for that) but what i mean is.... from the inside and the out... no make up.... should be wearin' a ball cap... doesn't care and yellow still says i'm beautiful in a way that i JUST BELIEVE... that's a good thing... of course with me its complicated but you know what... for right now... i'm just going to sit in this place with this amazing feeling and not worry about all the junk

it's Thanksgiving next week... my favorite holiday... i'm not even kind of lookin' forward to it... that makes me sad... i have so much to be thankful for this year too... we'll see perhaps i'll be pleasantly surprised

ok... that's enough for tonight...

Peace... Love... Live Music ~ it'll feed your soul and set the world straight i promise!!!

I’ve said this before…

But I do believe that this time I’m sticking to it.

I’m D.O.N.E.

DUDE ~ you have one job… ONE job ~ kick the ball between the uprights… and I don’t want to hear about best ‘clutch’ kicker … 29 yards… that’s a freakin’ GIFT at the level you are currently playing… a clutch is anything over say 45 yards with almost no time on the clock… you make that you’re a hero… you miss it’s heartbreakin’ but still you can be forgiven ~ 29 yards ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME?!?!?!?!!

So what am I done with… I SUK at being a sports fan… seriously. I get way too upset… I yell not nice things… my heart rate increases to a level that may border on dangerous… and for what… really my life doesn’t change based on the outcome ~ oh wait I do hear from A LOT of people who REALLY love me when my Colts lose…lol

I’m really REALLY good at being a music fan… and you know what ~ even at the worst show I’ve ever been too… the stories to be told after still bring a smile to my face and make my heart happy… Christian summed it up perfectly this morning ‘Musicians hardly throw interceptions or miss 29 yard field goals.’

And along those lines… I got the question yesterday that for some reason I generally dread when asked ‘So how did you get to Texas from Vermont and California?’ ~ now typically when asked this question… I dodge it… I find a way to get out of answering… I only half answer the question… but you know at my son’s birthday party yesterday… I realized ~ mostly I don’t even care what anyone thinks about my decisions… so why the hell would I not proudly say ~ I moved here because I heard a cd one day that lead me to the BEST LIFE a girl could ask for… I defy anyone to meet my friends and know our stories and NOT be jealous because I have been taken care of , put back together and celebrated by the most loving, caring, generous group of people a person could ask for… and yes I follow my passion… ABSOLUTELY… and how lucky am I to have found it… I mean you’ve seen them… the ones who haven’t… the people you pass on the street or in the grocery store… they have forgotten how to smile… the spark has left their eye… their soul is starving… someone told them to grow up so they did thinkin’ that meant leaving all the fun behind and accepting the mundane… ~ i am fortunate to NOT be that person… so from now on… when someone asks… well it’s ONLY my favorite story to tell… hope they really want to hear it!

let me tell you...

i'm glad its Friday ~ and i'm not even that upset that i don't have much planned for this weekend... first off there will be much fun to be had next weekend as i was scolded for doing a jaegerbomb without my new best pal on Monday so apparently there will be one waiting in NCAL for me NEXT Friday night when i get off the plane... two in fact i've been warned...

last weekend was more fun than i would have imagined... i keep trying to blog about it... but see you write it down and it becomes a bit too real ~ so it needs to stay a story that we will giggle about because seriously... i NEVER behave like that...

in fact there were a few times when i was my own Jiminy Cricket... sitting on my shoulder sayin' what on EARTH has gotten into you ~ having said that... it's come to my attention that while most of the people in my life find me pretty responsible and i'm generally the good one in the group... well as with everything there is always that exception to the rule and i'm truly NOT that bad of influence... and we did follow the one rule... there were no drugs in the car!

well as much fun as the weekend was... i did get the call Sunday night ~ the 'see you later' that i've been dreading... five months is too long... and they don't need him as much as i do ~ especially since they have NO IDEA what they have... if they just let him talk to any one of those in charge over there... he'd convince them why what they are doing is wrong... he'd explain how to fix it... and they would have an action plan and it would be immediately implemented ~ trust me i've been there... if he can almost convince ME i'm a republican... he can in fact execute world Peace... anyway... there will be emails... and that will help me get through... and then he'll be HOME!!! and like he said 'Dallas... dammit... oh well Lori's in Dallas so now Dallas is better' ~ and you know he means that!!

after the festivities yesterday we now have a Jedi Force Action Light Sabre weilding.... Cowboy boot wearing... Optimus Prime keeping our world safe from the Decepticons... seriously ~ he'll make you believe too i promise...

i will spend this weekend nursing my beautiful Kailey back to health... i understand that part of the responsiblity of loving a pet is accepting that we will outlive them... i'm trying to get out of the realm where again i'm the exception to that rule...

so Jake is 7 today...

and this morning... i brought him breakfast in bed... and gave him the card that i got for him... and my little man looked up at me with his big beautiful brown eyes and there were tears...

'Jake.... honey why are you crying?'

'Happy tears mama... i'm just so glad you are my mother'


so we cried together... Happy tears