I thought this was interesting...

You are - Lestat!
Your fun-loving and adventurous ways have gotten
you into more than a few mishaps. You can be
perceived as a pedantic person but these are
just your ways. You're extremly generous to
those you love, and are always ready to give
people second chances.


Which Anne Rice Vampire are you?
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Random Good News ~

i will have my truck here in about three weeks!!! Those of you that know me well know that not having my own car has been making me positively crazy ~ and proof i do in fact have a song for everything....

Rusty Old American Dream ~ Pat Green 'still runnin...' lol

'this car needs a young man to own him
one who will polish the chrome
i'll give you the rest of my lifetime
just don't let me die here alone
just jump me some juice to my battery
give that old starter a spin
here rust sputter, back fire to the carborator
and run me to life here once again...'

i don't much like the 'young man' reference, i take extremely good care of my truck... lol

Ever notice the peace...

that shines on the face of someone of faith... they can be Christian, Buddhist, Jewish, Muslim, Celtic... whatever but if they truly have faith their inner peace just shines through ~ they walk their path and their steps are lighter, their smiles are truer, its because they have figured it out

'Faith don't need no second opinion, you ain't gotta do nothing friends you just have to believe...' ~ Tom Skinner

i heard a song on the radio yesterday ~ a) i can count the times i actually have the radio on in the last year on one hand and b) normally it's a song i roll my eyes at 'cause it got OVER PLAYED... however when i flicked the scan button ~

'don't let some hell bent heart
leave you bitter
when you come close to selling out
reconsider
give the heavens above
more than just a passing glance'

i needed to hear exactly THAT and i think i did actually hear it for the first time ~ so the current plan for the one that doesn't plan... turning everything over and putting faith in the fact that i am on the right path and even thought 'i can't see past my headlights... that'll still get me where i'm going'

So now I'm supposed to leave...

right ~ not sure my feet will remember how to move... or that my chest is ready to be hollow again 'cause my heart stays behind everytime

this has got to change

If It Weren't For You ~ Walt Wilkins

'...i've been known to shout about things I know nothing about
i let stuff slip off my tongue that should never get out
spent a thousand nights feeling born to lose
and I still might believe it if it weren't for you'

Are you having fun...

every time i talk to someone they ask me that... before i start ~ YES absolutely i am... but you might not be able to tell if i gave you the run down of my day.

FIRST ~ Joc and Clay's wedding... Fabulous ~ i don't much believe in forever or happy endings but it's starting to change i think ~ this is the second marriage this year that i do believe in so there you go

anyway back to my first point ~ i'm not here this time for music ~ although there will be some... i'm not here for sightseeing or eating too much or running around taking it all in until i'm overfull... i was overfull when i got here ~ and my bestfriend said 'Let us take care of you for awhile.'

i've read two full books and am on my third... we are trying to figure out Lost... i've had a mango martini... i've watched a rather disappointing football game, but it helped break the ice with someone that i needed to feel comfortable with... i have slept ~ long and hard in a home where i feel safe and comfortable... i've been alone with my thoughts to truly take in all that has gone on in the last three weeks and to start sorting it out ~ we've giggled and argued... there have been baby pictures and silly stories of times gone by

i came here needing to breathe and unwind ~ i left my babies in the best possible hands outside of my own and put myself in the hands of one of the ones that i trust the most and i know understands without a lot of words being passed ~ the earth isn't spinning as fast as it was six days ago and for that i am extremely grateful

For my Brother ~ Blue October (or in my case... my best friend)

'...believe you can shine when you're silver
and i promise you gold.
and whenever you're dark inside,
don't let go, no don't let go
remember there's rain
and there's candy
and Christmasy winter snow.
and remember, i love you the same
and i'll strangle your pain

and he tells me to sing
so i sing, and i sing
for my brother who keeps me sane,
and tells me "everything will be o.k." '

City of Joy...

is another must see movie in my opinion...

'... the Gods don't make it easy to be a human being...' ~ Hasari to Max

'No but I think that's why it feels so damn good when you beat the odds.' Max's response

BRILLIANT!

this rollercoaster i'm on... needs to end for awhile ~ i am in serious need for a ride on a merry go round maybe for a change...


One ~ U2

'did I ask too much? more than a lot
you gave me nothing, now it's all I got
we're one, but we're not the same
well we hurt each other
then we do it again
you say love is a temple
love a higher law
you ask me to enter
but then you make me crawl
and I can't be holding on
to what you got
when all you got is hurt...'

and after dealing with all that the last week... there is a calm in a friendly place that gives me hope

i say it all the time ~ i am blessed with true love by amazing friends ~ UNCONDITIONAL REAL LOVE... thank you for that

I am in fact ready...

for some football... however not sure who this is that is trying to do what Rob Thomas does perfectly with Santana... but he needs to go ~ NOW

Smooth ~ Santana featuring Rob Thomas

'Give me your heart... make it real... or just forget about it...'

'You are so beautiful...

and such a great attitude. How could anyone ever be mean to you?' ~ and he was genuine when he asked it was not a pick up line at all... it got me to thinking ~ not that i believe i'm beautiful and my attitude can suk occasionally ~ but he has a point and that is exactly why it feels impossible to ever truly believe in a forever kind of love for me again...

see if i care about you and believe in you... it's real and it's true ~ sometimes to a fault because it will take a lot for me to see what others sometimes see so plainly... i can excuse away just about anything if i love someone and i will in fact let you hurt me time and time again before feeling the pain because i don't believe that someone that i care about would ever hurt me as i never would hurt them...

now i go forward with so much caution that even the ones closest to me that have remained true... i doubt too often ~ when once i would take everything on blind faith... i almost look for deception... now that i'm conscience of this i'm going to try and not be so cynical about everything... there was a time when i wasn't and i miss that

this is not a song that i typically would like but i have ever since the first time i heard it and today i think i understand why...

Beautiful ~ Christina Aquilera

'every day is so wonderful
then suddenly it's hard to breathe
now and then i get insecure
from all the pain i'm so ashamed

i am beautiful no matter what they say
words can't bring me down
i am beautiful in every single way
yes words can't bring me down
so don't you bring me down today...'

the ache in my heart…

and stomach are back again ~ the tears too... AND they showed up early this year even… the pictures from New Orleans reminding me too much of the devastation on that horrific day in 2001 ~ i feel it hard again this year i’m sure because of all that has gone on with me and in our world the last few months that my emotions are running high

in the past i’ve baked and cooked and brought things to our local fire department to say… Thank You... i haven’t forgotten and you are appreciated ~ i’ve tried to give blood… i am not physically able to… this year i feel at a bit of a loss… most of what i have has been given to Good Will or the Salvation Army so I take comfort in the timing on that… money i guess however it just doesnt feel like I’m doing enough to write a check or donate my change or however… i don’t know that there is an enough for me anyway

i keep waiting for it to fade... i didn't lose anyone... i wasn't there... directly my life was not affected ~ but yet my entire outlook was changed and truly i have not forgotten

i understand why they stayed...

when i lived in Virginia there were numerous times that we were told ~ you better leave but it's like that fairy tale ~ the little boy who cried wolf ~ how many times were they told in the past to leave... it's gonna be terrible then nothing or if something certainly not the devastation that we have seen ~ so why are so many judging and condemning...

i have to wonder if it's because those that are judging have never been in the postion to feel that no matter how bad the storm... there really are no alternatives that feel viable so riding it out just makes sense ~ i know that feeling

my heart... my head... my prayers... what money i can give is with all of those people that are lost and have nothing left ~ i understand maybe not quite on the scale... but i truly do

You'll Never Walk Alone ~ Rogers & Hammerstein

when you walk through a storm
hold your head up high
and don't be afraid of the dark.
at the end of a storm is a golden sky

and the sweet silver song of a lark.
walk on through the wind,
walk on through the rain,
though your dreams be tossed and blown.

walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
and you'll never walk alone,
you'll never, ever walk alone.
walk on, walk on with hope in your heart


and you'll never walk alone,
you'll never, ever walk alone.