Second Chances...

apparently we all do deserve them

i'm terrified to talk about it too much for fear that it wasn't real but the last week of my life has been surprising, sweet, tender, romantic, fun and oh wait yeah BUSY...

if you work in the restaurant/catering industry this is the busiest week of the year and oh my lord have i been busting my behind... but it feels good that tired at the end of the day from working hard ~ i'm still surprised that people tell me that i'm good at this i just never saw it in my future... oh right back to the good stuff

i never saw a lot of things in my future that now seem to be... i feel safe and someone wants to take care of me just as much as i want to take care of them... and he knows everything ~ i mean EVERYTHING about me... 20 years is a long time to be friends with someone if it sustains all that life has to throw at you and all the distances and opposite paths but when you come together it just seems right and easy and comfortable well that says a lot i think...

i have to agree with him... 'If I screw this up, it'll be the biggest screw up of my life ever.' ~ and trust me we both have screwed up some stuff to this point so that is in fact saying a lot

so of course in true 'me' fashion... he has two cd's with him that he didn't have before... he's only listened to one ~ 'I like the first song. I remember hearing it on the radio it's good.'

Wave on Wave ~ Pat Green

'i wandered out into the water
and i thought that i might drown
i don't know what i was after
just know i was going down

and that's when she found me
not afraid anymore
she said "you know, i always had you, baby
just waitin for you to find what you were lookin for."

you came upon me wave on wave.
yu're the reason i'm still here yeah
am i the one you were sent to save?
it came upon me, wave on wave."

Godspeed ~ James Dungy

"Our Colts family is united in prayer and support for the Dungy family at this time," said Colts Owner and C.E.O. Jim Irsay. "

that is the only word to describe what the Dungy family is experiencing today ~ shortly after starting this blog a dear friend of mine lost her daughter and today a great man that i respect lost his son... as a mother... as a fan... my thoughts are prayers are with you Mr. Dungy and your family as you try and remember how to breathe and relearn all the basic things in life that must now seem surreal and insignificant...

Joke's Over...

now someone turn the heat back on please ~ 7 degrees BELOW zero ~ and here is the thing people actually CHOOSE to live here... that just seems well not right to me at all ~ this is definetly just a long layover on my life's journey and i'll not visit again unless temperatures are guaranteed above well freezing even i don't do cold... i don't like cold... hell i even let my beer get room temperature and still drink it happily

'Now we are ready for Texas'

says my five year old to my pop who was looking at me with a rather bewildered face as i unpacked the 10 koozies that came in one of the boxes that arrived today ~ i promise i'm not making this up...

apparently i only need three Brandon Jones koozies 'cause that is all that arrived... my coveted George's Bar koozie and my first ever koozie 'Keep Austin Weird' are safe and sound back in my possession

i promise everyone it TRULY is the little things that make all the difference

my new favorite song...

Where Did You Go ~ SouthFM

'... and when the world has taken all you have to give
i promise i won't say i told you so...'

check out SouthFM.com and especially the online journal... www.swallowingthepill.com

Paco is an incredible writer...

just 5 seriously...

limiting it is probably the hardest ~

Tag, I'm it! from Renee.... Five Weird Things About Me

1 ~ except for showering... i am never nude... just way too uncomfortable with my body for that

2 ~ i want to buy my daughter a drum set for Christmas... everyone else is trying to talk me out of it...

3 ~ i have this funky Rain Man numbers thing... i can't explain it really well but it's weird i promise

4 ~ i sleep with a 'character' pillowcase ~ Legolas and i love Love LOVE him

5 ~ i am extremely attractive to old ethnic men ~ not attracted to... i just get hit on by them A LOT

Tag... if you are reading this... YOU are it ;)

and i got my SouthFM cds today... YAYAYAYA!!!!!

The Game ~ SouthFM

'... you just said a mouthful i'm a handful...'

BRILLIANT!

'Do you like football?'

my friend asked my son the other day ~ 'Yeah i love football!' he says... 'Who is your favorite team?'....

'The horseshoe guys!'

that's MY boy....

it was a year ago today...

that i experienced the most devastating loss... the kind of thing you don't ever truly recover from... i miss him everyday... i do believe that he is in a better place... it is his light shining down on me that gives me strength on days when i truly have none... and i hope that when we meet again he will once again be able to say that he is proud of me and the path i walked for the balance of my time

a happy memory was that he enjoyed music as well and i would help him buy his concert tickets whenever he wanted to see a show... this fits from the last show i helped him get tickets for... he came back thrilled with the performance and just truly happy

Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters ~ Elton John and Bernie Taupin

'...until you've seen this trash can dream come true
you stand at the edge while people run you through
and i thank the Lord there's people out there like you
i thank the Lord there's people out there like you...'

apparently it has been burning forever..

this passion for music that i have... i just watched Kenny Rogers and Lionel Ritchie on Crossroads... totally forgot in recent years how much i love their music... i have done what i do today still my whole life ~ just listening... loving... absorbing each and every word ~ each and every note ~ oh and here is the song that reminded me when i heard it...

Sweet Music Man ~ by Kenny Rogers

Sing me a song sweet music man,
'Cause I won't be there to hold your hand
Like I used to,
I'm through with you
You touched my soul with your beautiful song
You even had me singing along right with you
You said "I needed you"
But then you changed the words and that harmony
And you sang that song you'd written for me
To someone new

But nobody sings a love song quite like you do,
And nobody else can make me sing along,
And nobody else can make me feel
That things are right when they're wrong,
Nobody sings a love song quite like you.

Sing me a song sweet music man,
Your making a living doing one night stands
That do for you what you need them to
Your still a hell of a singer but a broken man
And you surround yourself with people who demand
So little of you

But nobody sings a love song quite like you do,
And nobody else can make me sing along,
And nobody else can make me feel,
That things are right when they're wrong with a song,
Nobody sings a love song quite like you.

So sing me a song sad music man,
I believe in you

in spite of it all...

i do in fact still believe in people... that was pointed out to me today it's not really something that i have thought a lot about but its true ~ i mean i still believe in spite of everything that the father of my children and i could be friends which says a lot as most of you know

i do believe, maybe even blindly, that people do things with only the best of intentions and it takes well just short of a train wreck for me to see otherwise ~ if i care about someone i'll excuse away so much... often times things that are blatant and obvious but it's important ~ probably the most important thing in my world for me to believe that there is in fact good in everyone and that it just needs patience, kindness, caring, trust and saftey to bring it out...

i like this about me ~ i don't ever want to lose that

i'm a people person...

i enjoy being with other people... laughing... talking... hanging out... whatever ~ this alone thing most of the time might just break me ~ don't get me wrong i adore my children and am thrilled for the time that we have and all that we get to do but is it totally and completely selfish to need interaction with other grown ups?

sorry just had to vent... Carry On