that's what i have... and it all began when i felt as if it was over ~ i had found that the dream that i believed in was not real... and decided that to be the best me i could in spite of it... some changes needed to be made... and somewhere i found the strength that i needed to make them ~ in the course of that i found solace in song... not that unusual for me i have always found what i need in music ~ this time it put me on a path that lead me to more than i could have hoped for me... a second chance if you will ~ at a dream...
three years ago ~ in the midst of such great pain... i planned a getaway and made my first trip to Texas... and yes again this year as the anniversary approaches i am flooded with memories of how monumental that trip was for me in my life... the friendships that were solidified that weekend are true bonds of love AND believe me in the time since... those bonds have been tested and truly are unbreakable...
from the moment i stepped off the plane that weekend i had butterflies so big they shook my knees and made it close to impossible to stand and really i had no idea why i was so nervous...
that first night... i met people that i had been waiting to meet for so very long... and even was surprised by one that well i was let's just say less than thrilled to meet which today is just unthinkable that he would not be a part of my life...
so many moments are imbedded in my memory with crystal clarity... the drive to Nutty Brown... Wade on the radio ~ EVERYONE singing along... thank you my Laineyloo for that... that car ride gave back more to heal my soul than you will ever know... and there are a few that are blurred by the intense amount of love that overwhelmed me... when we first arrived at the Nutty Brown... i was hugged in the shortest amount of time by more people than i have ever been before... i was truly dizzy...
my first trip to El Arroyo with Amy (i miss her too much!) oh and still today i am at a loss for the fact that Christy did not run away after the drive there ;)... hangin' out by the pool getting to know each other all afternoon... Hill's Cafe... and a moment... it was nothing more than a look ~ but it was one that i believe... has bonded us forever ~ that dinner still it amazes me that any food was consumed amongst all the laughter... RRIH... Peter... Bleu... Danny... Jesse... again so many hugs from so many that were real and genuine...
the knock on my door the next morning... face to face finally with my junebug... truly my soul sister as so many things over the years since have proven... and then renee... i've never met anyone with a smile as bright and believe me the years since have proven what a truly amazing, inspiring friend she is and i am truly TRULY blessed to call her my friend...
i look at my life today and all that is now because of that weekend... the people that i depend on for sanity... i didn't actually meet Jocelyn until the second trip two weeks later.... Sidecar Pub... i've mentioned it a time or two... again another night that helped forge my future... Meg... that night in the Mexican restaurant... you'd NEVER have guessed it was our 'first' meeting...
in fact that's how it is with everyone because you all gave me the greatest gift... you accepted me for who i am and wanted to know.... ME... so i made it easy to share... and be real with you
so just thank you all... July of 2004 truly changed my life... you know what it started in March when Maureen flew to LA... there was something very special immediately between us... she and i have talked about it before and i've told her... it was almost like she gave me permission because of our similar circumstances and responsibilities...
there have been other incredible memories now because of that weekend... and true lifetime friendships that have been forged... my HayJay... another one that never makes me feel like i need to apologize for just being me.. Brandon who gets the way my head works ~ and sets things straight for me when i've made a huge mess unnecessarily...
and Gage... how do you thank the person that says to you when you are at your worst... 'Just get on the plane and let us take care of you..' so i did... and they DID ~ i can't ever repay that... how do you apologize to the one that you weren't ever going to hurt after you have just been horrid... well if you are lucky like i am you don't have to worry too much because they get the pain that you are in and are willing to help you through it... we have been through so much and still at the end of it all when the dust settles or the smoke clears... we are home for each other ~ PERIOD
it's been three years on the calendar... but a lifetime in so many other ways... i am grateful... i am loved... and i am truly blessed
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I am grateful... I am loved, and I am truly blessed,
ReplyDeleteAMEN sister... I LOVE YOU more than you will ever know. As much as I get you, YOU get me, and for that, I am thankful. We are peas in a pod, you and I... and for that, I thank God every day.
You just made my eyes fill up with tears... As grateful as you are that you made that trip 3 years ago, we are the lucky ones, for it brought you into all of our lives, and we are better people because of it. I'll bring you chubbies anytime you want... :o)
ReplyDeleteLove you!
I just got all kinds of giddy, for sure I looked like a fool running to hug you with the masses... but remembering that time just honestly makes me smile, b/c that night WAS magical. For YOU, I am truly blessed!!!
ReplyDeleteI think of that day often. You were literally shaking as we met. That weekend is one that I shall never forget either.
ReplyDeleteLove you to pieces. And then some.
two blogs in one day that put tears in my eyes---Renee, yours got me too!
ReplyDeleteI really love all you TX girls!
You are welcome my Loriloo. You are more loved than you will ever know, and I will never be able to thank you for the joy that you have brought to my life. I am blessed as well. Truly blessed.
ReplyDelete