The thing about me is that when I’m happy, excited or passionate about something it takes me to this almost magical place where everything looks better, smells better, tastes better, feels better… a friend recently said to me that she never gets terribly excited about anything… but she is ok with that because the converse is that she never gets the opposite which is feeling just utterly shattered.
That’s pretty much where I have been lately… feeling like I can’t get out of my own way… feeling sad… lonely… confused… empty…
I’m not bi-polar ~ I’ve been on enough couches… it would have been diagnosed by now if I was. But I’ll say that it feels that way sometime. I can very much point at all the factors that have me feeling this way and I’m trying to sort them all out… it’s just none of it is a quick fix… it’s all things that take time and patience and you just have to muddle through…
So I’m not in Idaho ~ I need to be… but I had to make one of those awful grown up decisions… I need badly a vacation… not necessarily to go anywhere other than to just shut down my mind for a brief period of time and rejuvenate. I’m working on that.
For those that check in here… I do miss you all a lot. I’m just not a whole lot of fun right now so I’ve kept to myself… I’ll come back around to the happy side of life again soon… I feel confident of that!
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been there. done that.
ReplyDeleteand although this might sound selfish, i am glad you ARENT in idaho, cause i'm not either...and its one of the reasons it was so hard for me to decide NOT to go...and i still thought you were, so on tuesday of this week, i thought of that and i was sad...
does that make any sense? i'm sad you're sad, but i'm also happy cause you arent there without me.
love you
Hey - If it makes you feel better I know that you have a lot of people who love you whether you're a lot of fun right now or not. Sometimes doing the opposite of what I want to do is exactly what I need to bring me out of a funk.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you...