we are a handful...

the three of us... no question... it's probably the reason that i had shut my life off to a fourth... well there were a lot of reasons... but this is the biggest... we are loud... we are silly... we are busy... we fight... we make up... we pig pile on the couch... we get sent to our separate corners... we laugh... we cry... but the bottom line is that we are very much a three... and we have learned how best to work through our stuff ~ even at their young ages... so that we can all have the best possible life

i'm not really a conventional mom... not at all... and i'm ok with that... i wouldn't know how to be any other way... so i have all these ideas of how things could be when we are four... he says he knows he'll make mistakes and there will be 'Whoa!' moments where he will look to me for guidance... i just worry he doesn't truly get how big this is... i've been told i see it as a liability when really there are more rewards than i give credit for... probably... so these are the things weighing on my mind ~ i've been told to stop... it's going to work out... just be happy in this moment 'cause it's a good one... that wasn't exactly working... 'cause i'm stubborn... i admit that freely... it should be on the 'handful' list too... 'cause we all three are that as well

BUT ~ today... i was checking in on my friends... and read... well ish 'cause see i know this song... and i was thinkin' as i was scrolling down 'i love that song...' then this verse... slowed me down... put it all into prospective and i will carry on now and stop with the worry... thank you my lovely HayJay... i needed this today

'...lock your fears away
for just a little time
you can hang them in the closet
you can hang them right next to mine
don’t be afraid to let go
i’ll be sure to hold on
with all my body and my soul
let the good times roll...' ~ Brandon Rhyder