so much to say...

but no kind of peace to make sense of it... so do with all of this what you want and welcome to my head...

4+4=8 2+0+0+6=8...88 in morse code is love... do the ones i love the most 'get that' as well since TODAY is the day the album is in stores for all of us ~ oh and coincidence perhaps EXCEPT... 3+1+4=8 and 2+0+0+6=8 and that was the date it was supposed to come out and they pushed it up... so i don't know... i'm just sayin'


he says 'i love you... yeah i really really do' and you know he must 'cause i'm all over the place with my craziness these days... nothing too much i guess... just tired... busy... too many thoughts... and for some reason i feel safe to give them all to him... and i do and still he calls... early even... he listens... he talks... he laughs with me... not at me...

oh and everyone loves him as well... fights to answer the phone when he calls... both at home and the restaurant... tell him to call me Jordan says and they chat for an hour getting to know each other... i stand waiting for five minutes while Douglas chats about the race we watched Saturday... this is unfolding really well for all involved ~ and next year these weeks will be easier as i won't be doing it all on my own... *sigh* that's a PHENOMENAL thought

there is a recital Wednesday... drums and i get to see it... she is excited... i'm nervous for her ~ and her guitar is here so now we need to pick back up the lessons... another thing to the long list and yes it's important... more important and why (sorry Brandon) ~ we have decided no baseball this year... there is going to be summer Camp... with horses and the deposit is due... the meeting is next week

ok... the first family trip is in two weeks... i've known them all forever... yet my role is different and i'm terrified which is just silly and i know in the first hour i'll forget why but for now the anticipation of the looks... will they really approve... will they see the 'Well DUH...' my sister did... i wish she was going... i wish she felt she could talk to me...

oh my lord i'm gonna stop it now... oh wait one more thing then the rest of the day may have a bit more peace for me... it was flip flops and tank tops... walking outside with the sun on your face.... i look outside and i need boots and a warm coat again... just checked it IS in fact April.... UGH... ok definetly done

and this is my head right now... and all i have to say is THANK THE LORD for Rob Thomas... 'cause he's been IT for me again... he's the bar that i grip in this merry go round that is my life...

Ever the Same ~ Rob Thomas... for my friend who can't seem to find me lately

'you may need me there
to carry all your weight
but you're no burden i assure
you tide me over
with a warmth i'll not forget
but i can only give you love...'

and for me.... Hand Me Down ~ Rob Thomas/MB20

'...i’m here for the hard times
the straight to your heart times
when livin' ain’t easy
you can stand up against me
and maybe rely on me...'