‘Mama… mama….MAMA..’

...my son comes running in the kitchen of my dear friend Lisa’s house last night… with all kinds of urgency in his voice… ‘What… what… Jake WHAT is it?’

‘THIS is the BEST Christmas EVER’

and he goes running right back out on to whatever it was he had been doing after givin’ his ‘Aunt Lisa’ (he just started callin' her that) a hug on the way out…

we had an orphan Christmas dinner last night… a bunch of people that didn’t have a lot of family in town… we got together… good food… beer… a HILARIOUS White Elephant… it was the perfect evening

my kids were spoiled just enough to have ‘the best Christmas ever’ but not so much that the meaning of the day was missed… as evidenced when we were in the car on the way to Lisa’s ~ I’m giving the standard… mind your manners… you were allowed to bring selected items as long as YOU SHARE… say your sirs… m’ams… pleases… thank yous… etc ~ my son says ‘Of course mom… Christmas is all about kindness and friendship!’

so my daughter was bumped up into the BEST gift ever category when she presented me with a wax molding of her own little hand with her fingers making the PEACE sign… she went to Six Flags last month… with HER OWN money she paid to have that made for me and she’s kept it stashed away from me… GOOD STUFF right there…

there was of course a *hiccup* doesn’t even merit mentioning… but it was just enough to keep life in perspective…

a year ago...

i was sharing a room... with my son... in my parents attic... i had a job i enjoyed but it was going nowhere... and i actually was about over the restaurant BS... i loved my customers but the rest of it was just out of control... while i was about to move and i knew things were going to be better i had NO clue how really... i just knew that i was going to put all that i had in my car and get here... i had a roof over my head... i knew how i was going to pay for that and honestly... well i just knew i was resourceful enough that i would find a way to make it all work... i truly came to dallas with 'a dollar and a dime' and not much more than that except for A LOT of faith that this was the right thing and it would all take care of itself

seriously... i was just born to be here... i can't explain it in any other way... i had so much to move for already between the already established friendships and my love for a bunch of talented artists that make their living playing here... i knew that my quality of life would most surely improve without a doubt... and i'm so blessed for all the time that i have got to spend with the ones i love the most and all the amazing shows i've seen this year not to mention that i've got to share this with my children which just means more to me than i have words to express

ok.. so i had my office holiday party last night... now a year ago i didn't even know most of these people and now they feel like family because we spend so much time together and we love and take care of each other as such... again i have truly been blessed to be embraced by a group of people that genuinely celebrate me and i am sincerely excited to go to work each and everyday... well last night i was named Newcomer Employee of the Year ~ i don't even know what to say... i don't know that i have ever in my life felt so loved and blessed and i just truly was completely overwhelmed by it all...

i hope that the holiday season brings joy and blessings beyond your imagination to all of you that continue to hold my hand through this crazy life of ours... its been nice walkin' with y'all for awhile and not feelin' like your carrying me

love THIS...

THE WORLD 'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE!


Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl
said:"NO!" (or said I'm done being married to you now...) And the girl lived happily ever-after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports (ok football is the exception), never wore friggin' lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time.

THE END


and a post script to my last entry ~ i got a STAR as an early Christmas gift... SEE that's exactly what I mean... now i'll never have to wish on anyone else's star... and it is the 2nd star to the right...

if you have to ask...

me what i want for Christmas or my birthday or whatever... you probably shouldn't be getting me anything ~ if you don't know me well enough to be able to find something that represents who i am to you... or makes you think 'Lori would love that' or i need Lori to have this 'cause she'll get it... well then really there is no need to buy me something just 'cause... i'm not a just 'cause kind of person... sorry if this offends anyone... i've been asked this a lot recently for well the obvious reason and it really just rubs me the wrong way

if i was making a list ~ well something like this would ABSOLUTELY be on it...



alright not all of that... but just the one on the 26th.... oh my HECK ~ MERRY CHRISTMAS to me... someday i'll write about my first show at the Sidecar with those two artists... i say it all the time ~ that night changed my life...

todays favorite ~ Desolation Angels by Reckless Kelly

'... and it’s bound to take its toll
out runnin’ wild and livin’ free
and i’ve done some growing up
but i never lost the child in me
we’re tossin’ dice at things
that might not ever be
all just to see what I can see, yea..'

i LOVE the heck out of THAT RIGHT THERE

for those that don't think...

there is foliage in Texas... well drive down Frankford between Hillcrest and Preston... oh my HECK... i slow down to about 10mph because GOD has set FIRE to the trees... the last two foliages in VT didn't have as much color... SERIOUSLY

Saturday night..

so what may be lost on anyone that regularly reads this but doesn't know me really well... this latest love of Reckless Kelly for me is something that so many told me for so long that i 'should' have... i can't even count how many times i've heard 'what do you mean you haven't listened... you would so love them' ~ and many tried... i guess before i just wasn't in the right place and in my defense... ish ~ when i first came upon what we call OKOM... it was all so completely new to me and there was SOOO much to hear and learn and LOVE

what was different this time... i have NO IDEA... but i guess i was just ready and what they have to sing is what i need to hear and then see...

so i don't remember the setlist in order at all 'cause well it's still all so very new and i'm still takin' it all in... i did get to hear EVERY song that i have come to know and love... which i've been told is truly lucky as some they don't do that often anymore

what i loved the most is their energy on stage ~ what makes me love a band live is if you can truly see that they love what they do... and they were totally having fun and just playin' and jammin' ~ non stop!!! for me at a show... i don't need any between song banter by the band... sure i love an acoustic show and the stories that are told in the environment... but just to chat too much at a show... well ok not to be rude but mostly my experience is that they aren't paid to be comedians for a reason ok... and while the inside band jokes may be fun for the band ~ if they have to have fun with each other on stage then the audience isn't giving them what they need in my opinion... if that makes any kind of sense at all

anyway... Reckless Kelly doesn't do that too much... they interact JUST enough with each other to be a band and feed the audience the sounds that we came to hear the most and it was just AWESOME

AND THEIR FANS... oh my HECK ~ i didn't get beer spilled on me once... i wasn't shoved or knocked by some rude drunk person... i haven't heard an audience sing so loud in a VERY long time ~ oh and to EVERY SONG... while there was a few of well ok... i'm not in my 20s anymore... i don't dress to impress anyone... so there were a few of those unlike me lol ~ mostly it was just people that were there to just see and hear their favorite band... not to be seen by anyone... i got to experience all of this with some of my favorite girls in the world and of course that always makes everything better...

i loved 1952 Vincent Black Lightening as much as i knew i would... their rendition of Run Run Rudolph was fun ~ oh and David i believe his name is AMAZING on the guitar... i think the crowd may have been louder than Willy for Wicked Twisted Road... Helter Skelter was a nice surprise and the reason i LOVE live shows the most the little gems like that they throw in... Break My Heart tonight is just a genius song i swear...

and *sigh* Vancouver...

'and now i'm packing it up and rolling on out for Vancouver...
for some wasted youth and fresh set of lonely stars
and i'm wondering baby, if you ever saw the best of us
and i wonder what you're doin'... and i wonder where you are...'

ok... glad i have this in my life

'cause someone asked June

if she was happy or just not unhappy... so it got me thinking.... how do i define happy.... while i agree with what most had to say to her ~ i'll add a few things for me here

~ i wake up most days before the alarm.... oh which is set at 5:45am... and am truly excited about the day ahead has in store

~ i experience more smiles and laughter throughout the day than i do frustration, anger and tears

~ i am told at least once a day by more than one individual that they love me... and i BELIEVE them

~ i have too many exciting things planned... for me a key to happiness is having something to look forward too... i've got Arizona... NYE... my parents actually coming to Texas in February.... the promise of a Spiderman visit in my world... Greenfest... BWJ's HOMECOMING... LJT's... Vegas... IDAHO.... and that's just the stuff that I know about!!! the last year for me has been full of spur of the moment fun that has been priceless

~ my health is vastly improved and i generally feel REALLY good everday

~ my house is my home

~ my bed is comfortable and everynight... i fall asleep with no tossing and turning for fear of what tomorrow brings but with a peace that i had only once hoped i would find

~ and the best part of all of this... it's all MINE... it's not at all based on what someone else thinks or feels about my life and my choices... and that for me is GINORMOUS... it's probably not even a word but you get what i'm saying


ok so i was planning on writing about *sigh* Reckless Kelly 'cause i finally saw them last night... review to come later

so i heard this song for the gazillionth time today...

'...and the less I seek my source for some definitive
the less I seek my source ~ the closer I am to fine' ~ Indigo Girls

whoa... k... like i said listened to this song A LOT... i just LOVE it... have for awhile now... really just 'GOT' it today...

this will be mine...

in five to ten business days...

i am SOO excited ~ i don't think i've ever invested in 'me' quite like this before

'Your life is an occasion... rise to it.' ~ Mr. Magorium

alright... i loved this movie... Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium ~ for about a million reasons ~ and yes... its basic maybe... cheesy i'm sure... but you know a little reminder each year of the most important gift you can receive during the upcoming Christmas season ~ the gift of belief... whether this joyous time of year renews your religious beliefs and reminds you of how amazing the love of our FATHER truly is... or if it's the belief in magic ~ you know the magic that you'll wake up one day and even though it seems impossible that ONE special thing that you dreamed of is actually yours (i believe that any day can hold the magic of Christmas... somedays that magic is needed more than on just 12/25)

so this weekend started with just a blah conversation ~ when should we sit my daughter down and tell her the 'truth' about Santa.... umm well in my opinion never... my view ~ she will hear soon enough that some tainted soul tried to spoil the magic for someone... and what i will do at that time is to reassure her belief in the magic of Santa ~ because well surely look at all we have... and she knows how hard that it gets for us from time to time... yet we still manage to get through ~ that magic comes from somewhere.... i'll explain to her that its more about the belief than the shiny packages... but the packages help to reinforce and she'll just have to see what the day brings 'cause well you know... something always shows up that wouldn't without anything less than a Santa miracle... and the final gentle reminder will be that of course what's most important is that we are celebrating the birth of our Lord at this precious time of year...

what makes me sad is that i know the one that initiated this conversation... never had anyone reassure them of the same when they were young... i forget how the line acutally went today... something like

'why do children forget what they once knew when they are grown-ups... aren't grown ups supposed to be smarter?'

brilliant... love that!!!

***Thanksgiving Post Script... i'm most Thankful this year for an email letting me know that the one i thought about the most during the Aggie game actually got to see the game...*****

it's my favorite holiday...

here's my list...

the things I'm thankful for this year...

Jordan
Jake
Kailey
Juno
Courage
Pat Green
Sparkling Water
Jocelyn
My Snuggle chair
My ipod
Patience
Auctions
Texas
Christian
Almonds
Drew Kennedy
myspace
Roadtrips
New Babies
Possibities
my Simon the Spiderman
Reckless Kelly

and finally i'm most thankful for my family... from the ones that share my blood... to the ones that share my soul this has just been a remarkable year for me ~ quite possibly the best ever... even with all the highs and lows... they were made better or easier because of my decision to make that leap of faith and just move

much love to you all...

i don't dance...

so if i tell you this makes me want to snap my fingers... stomp my feet.... and DANCE.... i mean it... and if you don't react the same... you may need to check your pulse... no offense... but seriously

ATM

ok... i swear i can't even make this stuff up... oh and what happens on the road.... stays on the road... AND in my blog...

so apparently.... according to this very beautiful... ummm lady... lol i should be america's next top model and well now someone at the office calls me ATM for short ~ now let's get serious ~ i don't know that i'm beautiful... or 'smokin' hot' as lb said... but i'm about a foot too short... ten years too old... and well quite frankly my feet are planted way to firmly on the ground but well... you could NOT convince her that she was wasting her time tryin' to teach me the runway walk ~ lol some funny shit right there i don't care who you are

ok... the short version

while i can in fact 'hang' ~ i really need to go to be bed earlier.... 'cause 217 properties on four hours sleep will kick my ass.... brad's new job is to ensure that if he's going to bed... so is lori ~ however our track record will show we are 1 for four in travelling together so i'm thinkin' i need a back up plan

apparently even lears have issues... ours was bigger than we knew but the exec bar at Million Air is SWEET and thank you Mr. Bradshaw for letting us borrow your plane... it's very Very nice

and the previously mentioned new best pal was waiting up for me... he's my favorite!!!

i work with so many people that i love playin' with too.... that's SUCH A GREAT THING...

i don't have a sleep number and quite frankly don't want one... kind of like sleepin' on a stack of cardboard for me... even on the softest setting

i'm the MOST tired i've ever been in my life but it's a really Really good tired

i'll leave you once again with the brilliance of my new favorites....

'write what you know and it just goes to show...
you gotta write your own destiny...' ~ Reckless Kelly

insert told you sos here...

'cause my new favorite right now.... that i can't get enough of....

...my first love was an angry, painful song
wanted one so bad I went and did everything wrong
the lesson in reality would come before too long
yeah my first love was an angry, painful song...' ~ Reckless Kelly

a bunch of random stuff

NYE ~ the current plans are perfect... it includes ~ two of my favorites artists... and i MEAN that when i type that... a cabin... most likely a fire... which means i'll have the makin' for smores... there will be BEER... 'cause i enjoy it... and good friends that make me happy

i am now someone's supervisor... and along with that i got a nice raise... i definetly like it here ~ in Texas that is... i knew i would... but if it's possible it's even BETTER than i hoped it would be... so i'm stayin' ~ lol like that was ever a question... i've decided to wait on the perfect house... this year while it's been awesome has been quite the balancing act at times... now that i've got my stride and breathe easy most days i'm going to allow myself a whole year of 'status quo' before shakin' things up again... there will be another beautiful... perfect house next year ~ they are everywhere around here... lol

yellow makes me feel beautiful ~ i mean i believe it... that i'm beautiful when it comes from yellow... (this is not a ploy for a bunch of 'of course your beautiful posts' those that would do that... i know you think i'm beautiful and i absolutely adore you all for that) but what i mean is.... from the inside and the out... no make up.... should be wearin' a ball cap... doesn't care and yellow still says i'm beautiful in a way that i JUST BELIEVE... that's a good thing... of course with me its complicated but you know what... for right now... i'm just going to sit in this place with this amazing feeling and not worry about all the junk

it's Thanksgiving next week... my favorite holiday... i'm not even kind of lookin' forward to it... that makes me sad... i have so much to be thankful for this year too... we'll see perhaps i'll be pleasantly surprised

ok... that's enough for tonight...

Peace... Love... Live Music ~ it'll feed your soul and set the world straight i promise!!!

I’ve said this before…

But I do believe that this time I’m sticking to it.

I’m D.O.N.E.

DUDE ~ you have one job… ONE job ~ kick the ball between the uprights… and I don’t want to hear about best ‘clutch’ kicker … 29 yards… that’s a freakin’ GIFT at the level you are currently playing… a clutch is anything over say 45 yards with almost no time on the clock… you make that you’re a hero… you miss it’s heartbreakin’ but still you can be forgiven ~ 29 yards ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME?!?!?!?!!

So what am I done with… I SUK at being a sports fan… seriously. I get way too upset… I yell not nice things… my heart rate increases to a level that may border on dangerous… and for what… really my life doesn’t change based on the outcome ~ oh wait I do hear from A LOT of people who REALLY love me when my Colts lose…lol

I’m really REALLY good at being a music fan… and you know what ~ even at the worst show I’ve ever been too… the stories to be told after still bring a smile to my face and make my heart happy… Christian summed it up perfectly this morning ‘Musicians hardly throw interceptions or miss 29 yard field goals.’

And along those lines… I got the question yesterday that for some reason I generally dread when asked ‘So how did you get to Texas from Vermont and California?’ ~ now typically when asked this question… I dodge it… I find a way to get out of answering… I only half answer the question… but you know at my son’s birthday party yesterday… I realized ~ mostly I don’t even care what anyone thinks about my decisions… so why the hell would I not proudly say ~ I moved here because I heard a cd one day that lead me to the BEST LIFE a girl could ask for… I defy anyone to meet my friends and know our stories and NOT be jealous because I have been taken care of , put back together and celebrated by the most loving, caring, generous group of people a person could ask for… and yes I follow my passion… ABSOLUTELY… and how lucky am I to have found it… I mean you’ve seen them… the ones who haven’t… the people you pass on the street or in the grocery store… they have forgotten how to smile… the spark has left their eye… their soul is starving… someone told them to grow up so they did thinkin’ that meant leaving all the fun behind and accepting the mundane… ~ i am fortunate to NOT be that person… so from now on… when someone asks… well it’s ONLY my favorite story to tell… hope they really want to hear it!

let me tell you...

i'm glad its Friday ~ and i'm not even that upset that i don't have much planned for this weekend... first off there will be much fun to be had next weekend as i was scolded for doing a jaegerbomb without my new best pal on Monday so apparently there will be one waiting in NCAL for me NEXT Friday night when i get off the plane... two in fact i've been warned...

last weekend was more fun than i would have imagined... i keep trying to blog about it... but see you write it down and it becomes a bit too real ~ so it needs to stay a story that we will giggle about because seriously... i NEVER behave like that...

in fact there were a few times when i was my own Jiminy Cricket... sitting on my shoulder sayin' what on EARTH has gotten into you ~ having said that... it's come to my attention that while most of the people in my life find me pretty responsible and i'm generally the good one in the group... well as with everything there is always that exception to the rule and i'm truly NOT that bad of influence... and we did follow the one rule... there were no drugs in the car!

well as much fun as the weekend was... i did get the call Sunday night ~ the 'see you later' that i've been dreading... five months is too long... and they don't need him as much as i do ~ especially since they have NO IDEA what they have... if they just let him talk to any one of those in charge over there... he'd convince them why what they are doing is wrong... he'd explain how to fix it... and they would have an action plan and it would be immediately implemented ~ trust me i've been there... if he can almost convince ME i'm a republican... he can in fact execute world Peace... anyway... there will be emails... and that will help me get through... and then he'll be HOME!!! and like he said 'Dallas... dammit... oh well Lori's in Dallas so now Dallas is better' ~ and you know he means that!!

after the festivities yesterday we now have a Jedi Force Action Light Sabre weilding.... Cowboy boot wearing... Optimus Prime keeping our world safe from the Decepticons... seriously ~ he'll make you believe too i promise...

i will spend this weekend nursing my beautiful Kailey back to health... i understand that part of the responsiblity of loving a pet is accepting that we will outlive them... i'm trying to get out of the realm where again i'm the exception to that rule...

so Jake is 7 today...

and this morning... i brought him breakfast in bed... and gave him the card that i got for him... and my little man looked up at me with his big beautiful brown eyes and there were tears...

'Jake.... honey why are you crying?'

'Happy tears mama... i'm just so glad you are my mother'


so we cried together... Happy tears

Gary Allan ~ Living Hard

EVERYONE should get this cd… now… seriously it’s incredible!!

This one is singin’ a lot of what I’ve been feelin’ lately…

As Long As Your Looking Back


Got your feet wet
Got your heart broke
Didn’t pan out
Like you’d hope’d

But you play’d fair
And you swear that love has…
the damn deck stacked

And you just won’t put it behind you
But you sit and you dwell on the past
Well can’t you see
You can’t see tomorrow
As long as your lookin’ back

You had someone
You could count on
You believed in
Bet your life on

But your back turned
And the knife fell
You swear that
Pay back… is gonna be hell

Now you just can’t trust anybody
‘cause a friend was just a snake in the grass
Boy can’t you see
You can’t see tomorrow
As long as your lookin’ back

You can’t move on
‘til you let go of what’s gone
no your never gonna trust anybody
if you sit here and dwell on the past
fool can’t you see
you can’t see tomorrow
as long as your lookin’ back

got your feet wet
got your heart broke
didn’t pan out like you’d hoped…

do i or don't i...

because i found out last night that i absolutely CAN... and all on my own... which makes me feel pretty great i must say....

so do i make an offer on what is seemingly the PERFECT house... or do i just sit tight for one more year just to feel well that much more secure with my life....

hmmm

oh so you want to see this house.....

http://www.centralimagehost.com/cihost/US/TX/75013/P/660/mls.htm

its really perfect for the five us....